Blackie, A Sad Tail!

Our first family dog was a failure. Blackie lasted in our home for about 4 days. In all likelihood he was euthanized — not because of anything he did, but because we had no idea what we were doing when we got him, for the days we had him, or when we returned him to the high-kill municipal shelter where we got him.

This is a tragic tale — a tale of ignorance, negligence and ultimately cruelty that I never want to be a part of or see repeated again. But I know now that this is a common situation contributing to the unnecessary slaughter of dogs who we humans bring into the world for our own satisfaction then discard because we don’t know any better, or we don’t know what to do, or because there seem to be no other options available.

Let me explain the events that led to Blackie’s untimely death. Perhaps you’ve seen this script before, participated in something similar yourself, or recognize that this could be you.

We were young and clueless in our 20s, had a 3-year-old, and had just bought our first home in a rural town in Massachusetts. We thought a dog would be a great addition to our family.

My wife had no experience at all with dogs — not in her home, or her neighborhood, or with her friends or relatives. She was actually a bit fearful because of this, but she was brave and was game, especially since she would be home alone with our son all day while I was off at work and hoped that having a dog in the home would deter any would-be miscreants.

Dogs were often a part of my childhood though I never had what I would call a “relationship” with a dog. I was the youngest in the family and our dogs were always besties with one of my brothers. I loved them, yes, but they were not “my” dogs. I never gave any thought to how they behaved, what they wanted, or how to work with them.

So, with the typical hubris of 20 year olds, my wife went to a nearby shelter one day and brought home a beautiful black flat-coated retriever. We chose to call him Blackie because he was — well, black.  He was calm, with a penetrating gaze, and very little real personality. I believe now that much of his affect was a result of the continued stress of the shelter environment followed by a car ride then the handoff to these clueless people and this little demon child, and these two cats staring at him. The fact that he was as calm as he was should have been commendable — but it terrified me! When I came home and saw the stares, I interpreted the behavior quite negatively and demanded that we return him right away because I didn’t want to risk the realization of the vision I had of him ripping my son’s face off.

My wife begged me to reconsider. We kept him confined to the spare bedroom doing double duty as my office, and after three days I was convinced that he was waiting for us to let him out so he could attack us. He went back the next day.

The shelter assured us that the most likely situation was that he would be euthanized, and, no, they would not give us our money back. This was hard on our wallet, but much worse for poor Blackie. Unfortunately we never heard about him after this time, but we assumed the worst. 

Ultimately this tale lead to us finding the first dog to become a member of our family, but that’s for the future. For now I want to explore this situation and explain why I am willing to expose this raw memory to you all.

If you’ve read my first post about our beautiful dog, The Mighty Thor – Dog Of Thunder, you know that the end of his time with us triggered my decade long career as a volunteer at a local no-kill shelter. There I saw this same situation repeated again and again with the same formula and the same results, though in this case the dogs had the good fortune of hitting the lottery of our no-kill shelter who would help to place them in new homes that were (usually) able to provide happy forever homes. 

The recipe:

• Family adopts a dog, or buys one from a store or a breeder, or is given one by a neighbor, relative or friend.
• Family expects the dog to be well behaved, to understand English and to fit right in quickly to their family. 
• Family expects the dog not to bark, or not pee in the house, or to be friends with the kids and to understand how to be good family members.
• Training is optional. If the dog is lucky some training is provided — maybe puppy classes, or some simple good manners training, maybe through a “board and train” package but the work ends when the class is finished
• After a week, a month, a year, the family realizes that the Border Collie they picked up isn’t going to be the calm lap dog they expected, or that the cute Labrador puppy they adopted is becoming a rambunctious teenager, or that they just “don’t have time” to give the dog the attention it needs.
• Off to the shelter the dog goes!

If the dog is lucky an adopter comes along soon, or a rescue group, or a no-kill shelter and takes the animal in. If the dog is really lucky the adopter or the foster or the shelter helps to provide some training to correct whatever poor behaviors the dog has learned, and perhaps the dog is exposed to some socializing with other dogs — a valuable benefit for most dogs who learn best how to be dogs from other dogs.

It became clear over time that many dogs ended up at our shelter because they simply never learned to be well behaved family members – not because they couldn’t be, but because neither they nor the family members got the training needed to help them become Happy Dogs In Happy Homes.

While I can touch tens or hundreds of dogs as a volunteer, the best way that I can help these dogs on a large scale is to help these families learn how to find the trainer that they and their dog need.

A Dog In The Family will make this happen by providing a central and local on-line community where you can find information of all sorts about choosing the dog that’s right for your family, how to best educate yourself and your dog, about how to deal with undesirable behaviors. At the same time we are bringing together a community of trainers who will be able to explain their methods and abilities to you through on-line and in-person events. 

If we are successful, you and many others will come back often for information, community and training help, or just plain fun. And together we will help make many Happy Dogs In Happy Homes.

Please invite your friends to join our community.